Parenting and the Unfair Perception of Childhood Behavior

I have two children. Both are girls, however the differences between them are undeniable. With my first born, Lola, I could take her and shop for hours on end and she stayed in tow, cake pop in hand, like a champ. She had her first 7 hour plane ride at just 4 1/2 months and soothed the nerves of the once irritated observing passengers on board like aromatherapy candles at a day spa. Phoenix, on the other hand, wants no part of this whole being cooperative in public thing and we wouldn’t dare take her on a plane ride, even if it were just from SJC to LAX, despite my intent to go to Hawaii before she turns two. I wanted to cash in on that whole kids ride free before 2 deal, but nope. Not happening. I already know how that story plays out and while she sounds awful, I have to give her a lot of credit. She, like so many toddlers, are fussy and undeterred by the frowns around them, but that’s what’s so genuine about her. About them. They are the most true versions of themselves that they likely will ever be in their entire lives and we adults can learn from these amazing little humans.

We recently took a mini vacation to Las Vegas, yep, we did the whole family Vegas Vacation thing and of course we drove because I am aware of how she might behave and what might happen if she does what toddlers sometimes do. People get kicked off of planes these days for wearing yoga pants…imagine an angry toddler and a nearby “Permit Patty” type. Oh God! Seriously though, I was totally irritated by a lot of the people encountered on our trip. Some were super cool, saying how cute and independent she was, but we also got the opposite. Phoenix is Miss Independent and is at that age where she wants to walk on her own, sit in the booth at restaurants and feed herself while she’s at it. There were times where we’d try to help and she’d get vocal and let us know that she’s got this and doesn’t need our help, but the people sitting nearby would look at her like they’d never seen a toddler before in their lives. Like, what generation did you grow up in where toddlers, I’m talking 18 months, gave a shit about the face you gave them at that age? I don’t care how old school you are, toddlers will be toddlers until their emotion called “fear” shows up and it hasn’t yet for Phoenix. It’s like these people only have fur babies in their lives because the side “oh my God!” comments were in full swing. Really, though? Don’t look at us like we’re bad parents, like we allow our kids to just run a muck when and where they want to. If you saw my first child when she was this age, you’d want to put us on a pedestal and give us an award. Literally night and day. Lola was the easiest, most well behaved child. Intelligent far beyond her age. I could show you videos of her having a full on conversation, assessing future events and questioning your presence, the day she turned two or counting to ten at just 18 months in perfectly clear diction. She was so easy. Not even we could believe it.

The truth is that kids are kids and toddlers literally don’t give a shit what you think. That’s pretty damn admirable, if you ask me. While it might get uncomfortable for me at times, mostly because I’d like to turn to someone and ask politely, of course, if they have a f***ing problem, but it would be nice if society wouldn’t be so uptight an actually appreciated toddlers for what and who they are. They are undeniably incredible. Learning literally everything at lightning speeds, trying things they’ve never even thought of trying before because they don’t even know what things are, let alone that there are consequences to their actions. They literally just go for it without a worry in sight. There is no preliminary or after thought when they make a first attempt. It’s 100% impulse. Don’t you sometimes wish you could live ever so freely? I am 100% a worrier. I want to be able to plan everything and the unknown is utterly terrifying to me, but I truly wish that I could take a page from the toddler handbook and just let shit go sometimes. I might have one less wrinkle or pimple in my future face and that would be appreciated by many, I just know it.

Joking aside, I think people look at children and their behavior all wrong. Perceptions are so muddied by what society says is acceptable and I am by no means immune to that because I obviously try to prevent her outbursts because I know that others might be bothered and while I do think kids need to be taught right from wrong, yelling and spanking a toddler into fearing you probably isn’t the right answer. I’d much rather have a few angry eyes on me than a child that’s afraid of her mom and dad. It’s ok to piss people off sometimes. Maybe they will reflect on it later and realize that life isn’t so fun when you’re always looking for something to complain about, especially a cute, innocent toddler just trying her hardest to learn the skills that we all take for granted. My girls are amazing in their own individual ways, not one being better than the other, but one more accepted than the other by watchful eyes. Things change though. One smile from a very determined and fearless little girl might get people to smile back and that’s a start.

Cheers to raising great tiny humans!

-Trisha

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Product Review: Sunny Health & Fitness Row and Ride Squat Trainer

Let me just start off by saying that you don’t have to spend a lot of money to get a good workout in. In fact, most of the time I do at home workouts that I find for free online via Instagram or Pinterest. Being a mom of two young girls, one of those girls being just 18 months, it makes going to the gym really difficult. I much prefer to work out at home, in private, without the ick of sweaty germs from peeps that I don’t know, where I can remain close by if they need me.

I really hate squats, but as we all know, they are one of the most effective exercises that you can do for your lower body and I think we all like to make sure we pay extra attention to that asset. I was looking for something that would help me to maintain good form, when I came across the Sunny Health & Fitness Squat Row and Ride Trainer. I read through countless reviews and before long, they had me convinced that I needed to add this to my collection, so I ordered it. The shipment arrived maybe 2 days later via Prime and I excitedly put it together in a jif! I think it took maybe 20 minutes to assemble, which I did on my own. It was time for the moment of truth…was this $99 a waste or not?

Not a waste at all; this training unit is awesome! I literally was dripping sweat in just a handful of minutes, which doesn’t normally happen to me so quickly. I can’t believe that a machine that cost under $100 is this effective. The trainer comes with three resistance bands to either increase or decrease intensity; I started with all three and have kept it that way to remain consistent, ensuring that I am getting the best workout possible. Holy moly, my legs were so sore for like 3 days after using this the first time. It’s literally my favorite machine and I have a few. I try to rotate my routines between quick full body cardio workouts, to free weights and this machine to help keep things balanced and from me getting bored with doing the same thing over and over again. I use this in ten minute increments and repeat the period four times, taking a 2 minute breather in between each. I like to use it while I watch my shows, particularly the ID Channel. It’s my only “me time”, so I make the most of every second.

The unit folds down nearly flat, which is nice if you don’t have the space to store it upright. I just take it out to the garage when I’m done; it’s light enough to move back and forth. Needless to say, but if you happen to be in the hunt for a squat / rowing machine, then this comes highly recommended by me and thousands of others on Amazon. I’m all about affordability and this bad boy fits the bill.

Cheers to keeping a healthy heart and wallet!

-Trisha

Busy Boss Mom Life: Tackling Work, Family and Fun

Being a full time, working mom with a couple of side hustles and hobbies is quite the challenge, so how do I do it? I live at Starbucks. Ha, just kidding, but coffee certainly helps. Coffee in the morning, coffee mid-day and sometimes even a grande non-fat, no-foam chai tea latte at night. I might be just a tad bit over doing it huh? Alright, maybe I’ll cut back…soon. Really though, the true trick to this trade is to truly enjoy what it is that you do, while taking the time to appreciate the smallest and simplest moments. That’s what keeps me motivated and energized to get through each day with a smile on my face, even when my toddler is sick and I’ve only slept an accumulative 12 hours over 3 days.

Boss Mom Wife

My schedule is overly booked every single day of the week, always, and that’s a rather significant understatement, but I am totally okay with that. I have many, many blessings and I count them every single day, taking nothing for granted. I thought about detailing a typical day on here, but quickly changed my mind. In a nutshell, I work two jobs simultaneously (boss mode) and also time running events on the weekends for my parents’s business. I have two kids (one being one), work an opposing schedule from my husband, have my very own 5k/10k running event, this new blog, am starting a side project and that’s all on top of regular home life. Learning to juggle it all as been a challenge at times, but I’ve got it down to a T these days and don’t worry because nothing and no one gets skimped on. I guess I am just one of those people that they say just loves to be busy all the time. I’m a DIY, go for it, kind of girl and I love that I can imagine something in my head and figure out how to make it or make it happen. I’m hoping that by doing what and all that I do & how I do it, that I am setting good examples for my girls to want to emulate as they grow and become their own versions of themselves. I hope it’s a motivating factor that encourages them to not wait on someone else to get the ball rolling or open the door, that they can do it themselves if they just go for it and make it happen.

Just Do It!

When I was small, growing up, everyone always told me that I was bossy and that kind of stuck with me. Ok, not kind of. It’s been with me forever and I don’t look at it negatively, like I used to do. I think having that trait is what has helped me to become the person that I have, with such drive and the will to want to learn how to do all of these things that I love and make them happen. Some people would rather sit back and see what this person is doing, what that person did, but I just don’t have that kind of time and I also don’t want to be the person that doesn’t try. Be the one to take initiative and get things going. I apply this to everything, even my email messages; I strive to get those looming tasks filed away as quickly and efficiently as I possibly can and the same goes for at home. I have this internal to do list embedded in my mind and one by one I check those babies off. One diaper, one house project, one school assignment, etc. I never understood the point in sitting on something and letting it loom over your head like a dark, heavy rain cloud? Get that ish out of here! Things pile up when you say “oh, I’ll just do it later”, but then you don’t and at some point you become overwhelmed and don’t know where to begin. That’s definitely not the example I am trying to set. My oldest daughter gets enough examples of “let’s be lazy” behavior from the shows she watches on tv (insert eye roll here).

Family Matters

I’m not gonna lie, sometimes life can be exhausting and stressful and the glass shattering screams radiating from my toddler makes it seem like I’m about to lose my shit, but deep down I know that it’s not the end of the world and that everything is fine. She wants to be held, to feel loved with cuddles and who wouldn’t want to stop everything for a moment or two for that? It stops the cries too haha! I know very well that one day I won’t be able to swoop her up and hold her in front of me and kiss her chubby cheeks repeatedly until she pushes me away and that one day her hands won’t be so tiny, holding up her little t-shirt to show me her ever so amazing belly button. My first born baby, Lola, is now 9 going on 19 and she spends most of her time rolling her eyes at my dinner table lectures or locked away in her room because in her young mind she’s sooo much cooler than I am and as sad as it is to realize how grown up she is already, I take comfort in knowing that even though I am a very busy mom, I always make certain to manage my time in a way that ensures that I am and always have been present in their lives. My husband and I are big on spending time with our kids. Talking to and with them, having dinner as a family, taking vacations together to show them the joys of life and doing homework together. Family is the most important aspect of all, so everything that I do is to ensure that I am the best representation of a woman possible and hopefully that will inspire & motivate them to make goals and go for them. I have a feeling they will be amazing little ladies one day.

Mmm-k!

Things don’t get done by themselves, someone needs to drive the bus and I thrive on knowing that what needs to be done, is done because I did it and even though it can be a challenge, I enjoy every second of it. I love what I do and who I do it with. If I didn’t have these people present and do these things that make me happy in my life, I don’t know if life would be worth living. I wake up every morning knowing that I am appreciated for all of my efforts on and off the job and that I am so very loved and that’s unbelievably fulfilling. Money isn’t the driving factor in my happiness and I think that’s what makes this all so easy. I am happy and content just here, living my best life with the best people. Things mean so much more when you focus on what truly makes you happy.

Cheers to tackling mom, wife & work life with a smile plastered across your face.

-Trisha

Shake things up and change your life

If Not Now When, appearing behind torn brown paper.

I’ve realized that I tend to not give myself all of the credit that I deserve, but learning to see myself to my full potential is something that I’ve really been trying to work on a lot these days. Gradually I am working on changing my own perspective, not the perspective that others have of me because much to my surprise, everyone else seems surprised that I ever doubted myself and or my abilities. Idk why I do it, honestly, but I do and I’m done with all of that mess. Seriously though, fortune cookies have been telling me how awesome I am for years now; apparently I am late to the game. Ha!

Sooo, there are a couple of “sayings” or catch phrases that have really been sticking with me these days and those are: “self doubt killed more dreams than failure ever could” and “if you can dream it, you can do it.” These might seem so cliche, but they really are spot on. If you doubt yourself enough to scare yourself from trying for your dream, then you’ll never know what might have been and while I am still new to this whole chasing your dream thing, I have changed the way I see things and am taking baby steps. When you look at it as literally one step at a time, then how hard can it be? How scary can it be?

I look at my 18 month old and try to think like her every now and then. She really doesn’t think much, I mean she doesn’t know enough to be able to psych herself out and so she just goes for it. Like a kid running after a bouncing ball into the street…unbelievable! Her inhibitions are far and few between and that’s been very inspiring and eye opening. She doesn’t know a whole lot of fear or consequences yet, so she’s not afraid of anything (other than mom walking away from her). One day she can’t walk and the next she can. One day she only says one word and a few days later, she’s got a whole vocabulary list under her belt and her dad is sleeping, but I can’t, for the life of me, get her to keep quiet for just one second. My point is that just because you don’t know how to do something, certainly doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t at the very least, give it a shot.

Life is a constant lesson that truly no one has mastered and it’s totally okay to hesitate and be afraid, but don’t let that discourage you. If you don’t try, you will never know and not knowing is worse than failing, because you can always try again and again and again until you get it right.

Cheers to knowing your worth & believing in yourself!

-Trisha

PS…it’s either day one or one day.

#perspective #outlook #liveyourbestlife #nevergiveup #bemotivated #followyourdreams