Parenting and the Unfair Perception of Childhood Behavior

I have two children. Both are girls, however the differences between them are undeniable. With my first born, Lola, I could take her and shop for hours on end and she stayed in tow, cake pop in hand, like a champ. She had her first 7 hour plane ride at just 4 1/2 months and soothed the nerves of the once irritated observing passengers on board like aromatherapy candles at a day spa. Phoenix, on the other hand, wants no part of this whole being cooperative in public thing and we wouldn’t dare take her on a plane ride, even if it were just from SJC to LAX, despite my intent to go to Hawaii before she turns two. I wanted to cash in on that whole kids ride free before 2 deal, but nope. Not happening. I already know how that story plays out and while she sounds awful, I have to give her a lot of credit. She, like so many toddlers, are fussy and undeterred by the frowns around them, but that’s what’s so genuine about her. About them. They are the most true versions of themselves that they likely will ever be in their entire lives and we adults can learn from these amazing little humans.

We recently took a mini vacation to Las Vegas, yep, we did the whole family Vegas Vacation thing and of course we drove because I am aware of how she might behave and what might happen if she does what toddlers sometimes do. People get kicked off of planes these days for wearing yoga pants…imagine an angry toddler and a nearby “Permit Patty” type. Oh God! Seriously though, I was totally irritated by a lot of the people encountered on our trip. Some were super cool, saying how cute and independent she was, but we also got the opposite. Phoenix is Miss Independent and is at that age where she wants to walk on her own, sit in the booth at restaurants and feed herself while she’s at it. There were times where we’d try to help and she’d get vocal and let us know that she’s got this and doesn’t need our help, but the people sitting nearby would look at her like they’d never seen a toddler before in their lives. Like, what generation did you grow up in where toddlers, I’m talking 18 months, gave a shit about the face you gave them at that age? I don’t care how old school you are, toddlers will be toddlers until their emotion called “fear” shows up and it hasn’t yet for Phoenix. It’s like these people only have fur babies in their lives because the side “oh my God!” comments were in full swing. Really, though? Don’t look at us like we’re bad parents, like we allow our kids to just run a muck when and where they want to. If you saw my first child when she was this age, you’d want to put us on a pedestal and give us an award. Literally night and day. Lola was the easiest, most well behaved child. Intelligent far beyond her age. I could show you videos of her having a full on conversation, assessing future events and questioning your presence, the day she turned two or counting to ten at just 18 months in perfectly clear diction. She was so easy. Not even we could believe it.

The truth is that kids are kids and toddlers literally don’t give a shit what you think. That’s pretty damn admirable, if you ask me. While it might get uncomfortable for me at times, mostly because I’d like to turn to someone and ask politely, of course, if they have a f***ing problem, but it would be nice if society wouldn’t be so uptight an actually appreciated toddlers for what and who they are. They are undeniably incredible. Learning literally everything at lightning speeds, trying things they’ve never even thought of trying before because they don’t even know what things are, let alone that there are consequences to their actions. They literally just go for it without a worry in sight. There is no preliminary or after thought when they make a first attempt. It’s 100% impulse. Don’t you sometimes wish you could live ever so freely? I am 100% a worrier. I want to be able to plan everything and the unknown is utterly terrifying to me, but I truly wish that I could take a page from the toddler handbook and just let shit go sometimes. I might have one less wrinkle or pimple in my future face and that would be appreciated by many, I just know it.

Joking aside, I think people look at children and their behavior all wrong. Perceptions are so muddied by what society says is acceptable and I am by no means immune to that because I obviously try to prevent her outbursts because I know that others might be bothered and while I do think kids need to be taught right from wrong, yelling and spanking a toddler into fearing you probably isn’t the right answer. I’d much rather have a few angry eyes on me than a child that’s afraid of her mom and dad. It’s ok to piss people off sometimes. Maybe they will reflect on it later and realize that life isn’t so fun when you’re always looking for something to complain about, especially a cute, innocent toddler just trying her hardest to learn the skills that we all take for granted. My girls are amazing in their own individual ways, not one being better than the other, but one more accepted than the other by watchful eyes. Things change though. One smile from a very determined and fearless little girl might get people to smile back and that’s a start.

Cheers to raising great tiny humans!

-Trisha

Advertisements

Breakfast. It’s what’s for dinner.

Today was another busy Monday, following a very tiring and busy weekend. That’s the norm around here, but I just wasn’t in the mood to run to the grocery store after working all day and then picking up Lola from school, so I decided to just go straight home to rummage through the pantry to see what I could whip up in a jif. We weren’t home over the weekend, so the pickings were slim since I hadn’t gone shopping, but you know what? I think it worked out quite nicely. We ended up having breakfast for dinner and I loved it! It’s not the first time, but some people (like my bff, Judylyn) tell me that it’s so weird, but I just don’t get it; why is that weird? You’re weird if you don’t love breakfast for dinner lol! Anyway, this meal was deliciously affordable and I think you’ll be surprised at how much so.

We grubbed on Portuguese sausage, hash-browns, scrambled eggs and sourdough toast. I’d order this any time of the day, if the menu presented it to me. Granted, my house now smells like linguica, which is incredibly potent and hard to clear from the air, but it was so worth it and I’m already working on the air quality control, so we’re good here. The rest of my crew must have enjoyed it since they’ve all eaten themselves into a food coma; yep, they’re all sleeping now. Literally every single one of them. Kind of nice because here I am just blogging away in peace, drinking my evening coffee, (yes, I know) which I shouldn’t have done because now I’ll be up until the ID Channel line-up repeats itself and at which point I MUST shut it all down because I mean, that’s like all I watch and don’t really need to see them twice. That’s so bad, but I’m obsessed. I know there are memes out there for murder mystery obsessed gals like me (right here, y’all!). On a side note, I thought about taking courses on forensic science, but I’m incredibly impatient and since you can’t really solve murders in 60 minutes, I decided that it’s probably not for me.

Back to the topic at hand…this meal was extremely budget friendly and was ready in less than 20 minutes; that’s faster than what your daily cardio session should be. If I were to break it down, rounding to the nearest digit, I’d say that it cost roughly $15 to feed this family of four: Portuguese sausage $5, hash-browns $3, scrambled eggs $3, toast $2 and orange juice $2. That’s literally amazing and beyond affordable for today’s busy, budget friendly moms. So, the next time you’re in a scramble to get food on the table, why not consider breakfast for dinner? I might shoot for pancakes the next go round…I saw that box staring me dead in the face during tonight’s hunt.

Cheers to budget friendly breakfast for dinner.

-Trisha

Busy Boss Mom Life: Tackling Work, Family and Fun

Being a full time, working mom with a couple of side hustles and hobbies is quite the challenge, so how do I do it? I live at Starbucks. Ha, just kidding, but coffee certainly helps. Coffee in the morning, coffee mid-day and sometimes even a grande non-fat, no-foam chai tea latte at night. I might be just a tad bit over doing it huh? Alright, maybe I’ll cut back…soon. Really though, the true trick to this trade is to truly enjoy what it is that you do, while taking the time to appreciate the smallest and simplest moments. That’s what keeps me motivated and energized to get through each day with a smile on my face, even when my toddler is sick and I’ve only slept an accumulative 12 hours over 3 days.

Boss Mom Wife

My schedule is overly booked every single day of the week, always, and that’s a rather significant understatement, but I am totally okay with that. I have many, many blessings and I count them every single day, taking nothing for granted. I thought about detailing a typical day on here, but quickly changed my mind. In a nutshell, I work two jobs simultaneously (boss mode) and also time running events on the weekends for my parents’s business. I have two kids (one being one), work an opposing schedule from my husband, have my very own 5k/10k running event, this new blog, am starting a side project and that’s all on top of regular home life. Learning to juggle it all as been a challenge at times, but I’ve got it down to a T these days and don’t worry because nothing and no one gets skimped on. I guess I am just one of those people that they say just loves to be busy all the time. I’m a DIY, go for it, kind of girl and I love that I can imagine something in my head and figure out how to make it or make it happen. I’m hoping that by doing what and all that I do & how I do it, that I am setting good examples for my girls to want to emulate as they grow and become their own versions of themselves. I hope it’s a motivating factor that encourages them to not wait on someone else to get the ball rolling or open the door, that they can do it themselves if they just go for it and make it happen.

Just Do It!

When I was small, growing up, everyone always told me that I was bossy and that kind of stuck with me. Ok, not kind of. It’s been with me forever and I don’t look at it negatively, like I used to do. I think having that trait is what has helped me to become the person that I have, with such drive and the will to want to learn how to do all of these things that I love and make them happen. Some people would rather sit back and see what this person is doing, what that person did, but I just don’t have that kind of time and I also don’t want to be the person that doesn’t try. Be the one to take initiative and get things going. I apply this to everything, even my email messages; I strive to get those looming tasks filed away as quickly and efficiently as I possibly can and the same goes for at home. I have this internal to do list embedded in my mind and one by one I check those babies off. One diaper, one house project, one school assignment, etc. I never understood the point in sitting on something and letting it loom over your head like a dark, heavy rain cloud? Get that ish out of here! Things pile up when you say “oh, I’ll just do it later”, but then you don’t and at some point you become overwhelmed and don’t know where to begin. That’s definitely not the example I am trying to set. My oldest daughter gets enough examples of “let’s be lazy” behavior from the shows she watches on tv (insert eye roll here).

Family Matters

I’m not gonna lie, sometimes life can be exhausting and stressful and the glass shattering screams radiating from my toddler makes it seem like I’m about to lose my shit, but deep down I know that it’s not the end of the world and that everything is fine. She wants to be held, to feel loved with cuddles and who wouldn’t want to stop everything for a moment or two for that? It stops the cries too haha! I know very well that one day I won’t be able to swoop her up and hold her in front of me and kiss her chubby cheeks repeatedly until she pushes me away and that one day her hands won’t be so tiny, holding up her little t-shirt to show me her ever so amazing belly button. My first born baby, Lola, is now 9 going on 19 and she spends most of her time rolling her eyes at my dinner table lectures or locked away in her room because in her young mind she’s sooo much cooler than I am and as sad as it is to realize how grown up she is already, I take comfort in knowing that even though I am a very busy mom, I always make certain to manage my time in a way that ensures that I am and always have been present in their lives. My husband and I are big on spending time with our kids. Talking to and with them, having dinner as a family, taking vacations together to show them the joys of life and doing homework together. Family is the most important aspect of all, so everything that I do is to ensure that I am the best representation of a woman possible and hopefully that will inspire & motivate them to make goals and go for them. I have a feeling they will be amazing little ladies one day.

Mmm-k!

Things don’t get done by themselves, someone needs to drive the bus and I thrive on knowing that what needs to be done, is done because I did it and even though it can be a challenge, I enjoy every second of it. I love what I do and who I do it with. If I didn’t have these people present and do these things that make me happy in my life, I don’t know if life would be worth living. I wake up every morning knowing that I am appreciated for all of my efforts on and off the job and that I am so very loved and that’s unbelievably fulfilling. Money isn’t the driving factor in my happiness and I think that’s what makes this all so easy. I am happy and content just here, living my best life with the best people. Things mean so much more when you focus on what truly makes you happy.

Cheers to tackling mom, wife & work life with a smile plastered across your face.

-Trisha

Hello! Nice to meet you.

Updated: 21 hours ago

I actually go by Trisha, but I thought that I should, perhaps, be a little formal since we’re just meeting. For starters, I am from the Bay Area, CA…San Jose to be exact and while I’ve moved around The Bay a bit, my heart will always be there, even though the San Jose I knew and loved isn’t really what it was for me growing up. Ahh, the innocence of childhood and growing up with an imagination that is utterly unheard of these days. The good ole’ days, I guess.

Fast forward a bit and I am now a mom to two beautiful girls; Lola is 9 and Phoenix is 1. Quite a gap, but I guess that makes college easier and I’ve been told it will keep us young, although I’m not too sure about that last one. My husband, Arnold, and I met just out of high school back in 2003 and have been together ever since. Happily ever after so far and yes, that makes me 33. I am the oldest of two sisters, Melinda (32) and Trinity (19) and am blessed to have besties that are the sisters that God wanted me to have too…Judylyn (33) and Jessica (32). I’ve known them so long that we have equal amounts of “dirt” on each other to keep the silence ha! I am blessed to be surrounded by much love.

I am employed full time with a day job, own my own 80s themed 5k/10k race (Radical 80s Run) and am also working on a holiday run, but I still feel like something is missing from my already hectic and overly booked life. They say some people just always want to be busy or need to be busy and while I don’t necessarily think that’s true for me, I do seem to like to have something that occupies my thoughts and gives me something to look forward to. I think this blog might be just what I need.

I used to have a lifestyle blog back in 2007-2008 that documented my everyday life, pregnancy with Lola and my first year as a new mom, but because it wasn’t really a thing back then and I didn’t really feel the connections that I was hoping for, I sort of just gave up on it. Regretting that just a teenie weenie bit, but I am back because I truly to enjoy writing and expressing my thoughts. I’m not big on social media posts on sites like Facebook, but something about blogging is different to me. It’s more like an electronic diary and I can’t wait to see where this all goes.

Cheers to new beginnings!

-Trisha

I mean, I guess you might want to know what I look like, right?

o PS…these glasses are Desi x Quay and the dress is from Vici Collection